I can't find it. I have looked everywhere. The bed has been stripped. The mattress has been pulled back from the wall. I simply can't find it.
It's not something the dog would want, is it? He'll eat almost anything, but I'm not sure he'd want that. First thing, it's peppermint flavored. Second, I just can't imagine he'd have found a way to GET that - when I went to bed it was firmly in place.
OK. It turns out that even if he swallowed it it's not harmful. It may make him hyper for a bit, but it's not going to kill him.
It's time to consider that I've actually swallowed it. That is a good possibility at this point - better than 50%. It also turns out that there is no Internet information on whether it is harmful if I swallowed it. That bodes well on one hand, I'm likely not going to die. But on the other hand, it shows that even in the vast archives of the Googles, there is no other human that has apparently done what I did. And really, is that any of a surprise?
It all started last night with a toothache. A bad toothache. A throbbingly (trust me, it's a word, just read 50 Shades of Grey) bad toothache. I tried Ibuprofen. I tried heat. I tried alcohol. And then I turned to the Googlenet. And there it was. The miracle cure - the miracle cure of tea.
But that wasn't quite right. The miracle cure wasn't tea. The miracle cure was a tea bag. A tea bag placed against the offending toof. And, being that it was a miracle cure, it actually worked. Whether it was because it actually worked, or whether it was the Ibuprofen that kicked in, or the alcohol kicked in, or the toothache just finally stopped on its own or what, I'm not sure. Either way, that warm, wadded up tea bag seemed to work wonders and I was able to fall asleep. And I dreamed about tea. And I dreamed about tea bags. And I dreamed about difficulty swallowing. And now I just can't find the damn tea bag.