Thursday, February 4, 2010

Too many puppies....

Puppies shouldn't be used for live bait. Not only do puppies make horrible noises when you thread a hook through them, they tend to poop all over your boat.

I'm clearly insane, but not as insane as the person that told me I should join a group on Facebook called "Stop The Use Of Puppies For Live Bait" When I saw that, a little cry escaped my lips. It turns out that not only were Puppies being used as bait, they were being used as LIVE bait. FOR SHARKS! Sharks with TEETH. Teeth that EAT PUPPIES!

Then I read up on it and in less than five minutes found out that puppies AREN'T being used for live bait. Or dead bait. At least by a large enough group of people. I mean SOMEWHERE I imagine SOMEONE used a live puppy to catch a shark, I'll grant you that. But that doesn't mean there is a National Live Bait Federation: Puppy and Kitty Chapter that is suddenly saying "Oh shit, now that Facebook knows, the WORLD will know!!!"

And that's what every single person should do if they care about puppies being used as live bait. They should maybe get a little more information. Why? Because if it sounds too absurd to be true IT PROBABLY IS!

But that's just not as much fun, is it? It's not fun to find out that the situation isn't as bad as you first think it is. Why bother educating yourself when you can just get OUTRAGED over it.

It doesn't just stop at the dead puppies. It keeps going right past the dead puppies, down the hall past the dead horses, dead monkeys and right up to the Death Panels. Yup, the Evil Death Panels that will surely kill grandmother. If one was really worried about Meemaw being sentenced to death by an Obama Death Panel, wouldn't you bother to read up on it a bit? Naw - why read when you can just get outraged!?!

The snarky moral of the day is this. Lern to reed! No puppies are being used as live bait, Ms. Left-Wing-Vegan-Weirdo and no death panel is going to kill gramma, Mr. Right-Wing-Doucher-Alarmist. But you both are going to kill me - which was probably your goal in the first place. You see, someone told me about this conspiracy.....

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