Friday, August 28, 2009


One may notice I have ads on this site. Originally, of course, I was lured to place ads by the hope and prayer of money. Then I moved the decimal place over six spots to where my page views per day was and came to the quick realization that I would make about $.01 every seventeen years.

Then I saw that the ads are customized to content.

That is wonderful.

So, much like Gmail looks through your texts to determine what ads to place next to your email,
AdSense looks through the blog text to best advertise various links.

For example: if this blog were about fishing, I'm sure that the more I talked about fishing, it would, sooner or later, develop ads consistent with my fishing
blog's content. It would see I talked about going fishing, catching fish, gutting fish, filleting fish, making fish gumbo, fish stew, fish creole, fish cocktail, pan fried fish, baked fish, or breaded fish. I would talk about fishing lures, fishing flies, fishing rods, fishing reels, fishing poles, fishing waders, fishing boots, fishing get the pitcher. ("I sure do, Bubba").

But that also makes me want to use this program for evil. For bad. To mess with the poor system.

I just can't figure out a way to do that.

So instead, let me tell you about the conversation I heard the other day on the bus between two old men.

Old Man #1 "Boy, Virgil, it is so hot out today, my hemorrhoids are acting up. I can't hardly sit down because my hemorrhoids are so painful. They burn and itch. Won't anything relieve the painful burning and itching caused by my hemorrhoids?"

Old Man #2 "Armando, it's
OK that you have hemorrhoids. But are you sure that you don't have something more serious? Like an STD? Perhaps the burning and painful itching you think is caused by hemorrhoids is actually caused by Gonorrhea, or Chlamydia, or Syphilis or Herpes. Perhaps you have a STD causing the burning and painful itching and not hemorrhoids."

OM #1. "
Goddamnit Virgil! I don't have an STD. I have hemorrhoids! Hemorrhoids! Hemorrhoids! Hemorrhoids! Can't you hear? I have a painful burning and itching that makes it hard to sit down. Don't you know of any creams I can use for my hemorrhoids?"

OM#2: "Oh, Armando! It's
OK if you have an STD. You just need to be more careful. You need to use condoms or abstinence. After all, if the State of Utah says abstinence is the best sex education, who am I to disagree. But anyway. you should really use a condom next time. You can use any condom, really. Any brand. Anything like Ramses, or Trojan, or Durex. Any condom will do. I promise."

OM#1 :Virgil, I swear to God I will suffocate you with a box of Trojan Her Pleasure Ribbed and Lubricated condoms if you don't start listening to me. I have a painful burning and itching caused by hemorrhoids. I am embarrassed to talk about it to my wife, and instead confided with you on this crowded bus. Please listen to me complain loudly about my hemorrhoids and stop talking about possible
STDs I may have including Gonorrhea, Syphilis, Chlamydia, Molluscum, Herpes etc..."

This conversation went on for quite awhile.

And it really didn't make much sense. Just a lot of talk about
hemorrhoids and condoms. Which are not even really related and is sort of an offending topic to be talking about on a bus for hell's sake. I got off before it ended, maybe they tied up the hemorrhoids and STDs before they got off.

Oh well, back to the ads. The
AdSense Ads on the left side of the page. They're supposed to reflect the overall content on my blog. So, let me know if you see anything useful. I'm sure they'll want you to follow the link.

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